Dear Friend,
Right now, as I type this, I was supposed to be somewhere else.
Tomorrow, my family and I were meant to be boarding a plane, crossing the ocean to visit loved ones in Hong Kong, followed by a long-awaited trip to Japan. I could almost feel the excitement of landing, the warmth of familiar hugs, and the joy of showing my children the places that shaped our family’s story.
But that trip is not happening.
I’m still processing it.
Recently, I had to renew my UK spousal visa - and I didn’t realize that once submitted, I couldn’t leave the country while it was processing. If you’ve ever applied for a long-term visa, you know how draining and unpredictable the process can be.
The moment I realized it, I spiraled into action - hours of research, desperate phone calls, even a last-ditch attempt to reapply using an expedited service. I held onto hope, meditated on a positive outcome, and even packed our bags, believing things might work out.
Today, I went to my biometric appointment, holding onto the possibility that we could still make this trip. But instead, I was told - kindly, yet definitively - that I wouldn’t be able to leave.
The processing time? Up to 12 months.
I could feel disappointment knocking at my door.
But here’s the thing - expectations are tricky. They paint a picture in our minds of how things should be, and when reality doesn’t align, they steal our joy.
And yet, there’s another way.
On the train home, I took a deep breath and reminded myself:
Overwhelm is not knowing what to do next.
So, I made two lists:
1️⃣ What is within my control?
2️⃣ What I am grateful for?
On that second list, I wrote about the unwavering support of my family and friends, the kindness of the officer who took extra time to answer all my questions, and the reminder that life has its own rhythm - even when it doesn’t match our plans. Gratitude softened the edges of disappointment and made room for acceptance.
This is what mindful decluttering teaches us too.
So often, we hold onto items - clothes that no longer fit, gifts we don’t love, sentimental objects from the past -because of what they should mean to us. But when we release expectations, we find peace in what remains.
Letting go isn’t just about stuff. It’s about softening our grip on the stories we tell ourselves about how things should be. It’s about making space for what is.
My eldest took it particularly hard - disappointment is a big feeling, and it’s not always easy to process. So, as a family, we leaned into comfort. We soothed with cuddles, warm meals, and a cozy evening watching nature documentaries (currently immersed in Americas narrated by Tom Hanks!).
Just like decluttering creates space in our homes, self-regulation creates space in our hearts to process emotions with gentleness.
💛 A Gentle Invitation: Take a moment today to notice where expectations might be weighing you down. Is there something you’re holding onto—not because it brings joy, but because you feel like you should? What would it feel like to let go, even just a little?
Looking Ahead: Circle of Joy in April ✨
I’ll be sharing more reflections on this experience inside Circle of Joy and tomorrow, we welcome a new month. Our upcoming theme will be Clothing & Personal Care. If you've ever felt resistance around letting go of clothing that no longer serves you, or struggled with the emotional weight of your wardrobe, this month will be a nurturing space to explore this together.
With joy & gratitude,
Rebecca
